Unwrapping Christmas - The Gift Of Wonder

First of all, read Luke 2:1-20. Maybe you’ve read it before and you know the story. But this time, take your time. Read it carefully. Try to put yourself in the scene. Imagine traveling with Joseph and Mary the 80 miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Imagine the sights and smells of the animals in the stall when the baby is born. Imagine yourself sleeping on the ground with the shepherds. Imagine hearing and seeing the angel of the Lord and the celestial choir that comes to praise God. Imagine going into town, to the stable, and seeing the Lord, Jesus, the Christ, who has just entered the world….a baby wrapped in cloths, lying there in the manger. Take time to re-live this WONDERful event that we can so easily miss in all the hubbub of Christmas.

Read Matthew 2:1-12. Imagine yourself traveling with the Magi, following the star in the sky. Imagine your encounter with Herod. Imagine what it must have been like to finally, after all those miles of travel, come face to face with the child, Jesus. Imagine giving this child gifts, gold, frankincense, myrrh. And then the dream they had to return home by a different route. Again, take time to allow yourself to be filled with the WONDER of this incredible, awesome experience.

Go back and read the entire first chapter of Matthew. Matthew is writing for the Jews, and so it is important to show Jesus’ family back to Abraham, the Father of Judaism. It is interesting to note that in this family there is an adulterer/accomplice to murder (David), a prostitiute (Rahab), a foreigner (Ruth) and several other less-than-perfect people. It shows us the very human side of Jesus, the side of Jesus that we all share. As you read the second part of the chapter, Joseph’s story, try to relive the events and to capture the WONDER of what is happening here.

Read the first chapter of Luke. There’s a lot of wonder here. Elizabeth, previously barren, is pregnant in her old age. Imagine how Zechariah must have felt when he was given the news by the angel Gabriel. Revisit Gabriel’s visit to Mary to tell her God’s plan for her. Be there with Elizabeth and Mary as they share their experiences. Take time to read Mary’s song and Zechariah’s song and try to capture some of their joy as they celebrate God. Take some time to appreciate, again, the WONDER the events surrounding the birth of Jesus.

Unwrapping Christmas - The Gift Of Obedience

Kids come in all shapes and sizes. Some find it easier to be obedience than others. Were you a kid that tended to do what was expected, or did you tend to be disobedient more often than not? Has that carried into adulthood. Do you tend to be obedient or do you tend to “fight the rules” most of the time?

Do you find it easy to be obedient to God or more of a challenge? Has God ever called you to do something that was so far out of your comfort zone that you just didn’t feel like you could comply? What was that? Do you wish you had given it a try? Why or Why not?

Have you ever been called by God to something way out of your comfort zone that you did comply with, something to which you were obedient? What did you find when you did what you felt God calling you to do? Did God give you what you needed for the task? Were you able to see that “with God, all things are possible?” Did you have a faith growth, a spiritual growth as a result of being obedient to God’s call?

Other than Mary and Joseph, who is the character in Scripture you feel is most obedient to God? Why do you feel this way? Discuss this with another believer and see who they would say is most obedient and why.

Take some time and give thought to various things God might ask you to do. What is the one thing that you would find most intimidating, uncomfortable, objectionable, out of your comfort zone of all the things you might be called to do. What is it that would make this task one that you wouldn’t want to do?

Think about this…Jesus came not only to comfort the afflicted, but also to afflict the comfortable. Sometimes God takes us WAY outside our comfort zones in order to stretch us and to deepen us spiritually and to force us to fully rely on Him. Keep in mind also that He always equips us for the task to which He calls us.

What is it that God is calling you to now? Are you fighting it? What’s it going to take for you to be obedient to God’s call?

Unwrapping Christmas - The Gift Of Hope

What was the most awesome thing you ever hoped for at Christmas as a kid? Did you get it? If so, was it really as awesome as you thought it was going to be?

What are you hoping for this Christmas?

Have your Christmas hopes changed over the years? How so?

What does Jesus as the Gift of Hope mean to you?

Family Matters- Forgiveness Brings Freedom

Think about the Lord’s Prayer. It’s not just something that was made up. Jesus shared that prayer with His disciples as a model for how to pray. We find it in Matthew 6:9-13.

Think about what we are really saying when we say, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Are we asking God to offer us forgiveness as we offer forgiveness to others? Now that’s a little challenging isn’t it? I know it is for me. What does that mean to me if I am unforgiving of other people? Does that mean God will not forgive me? Wooooahhhhh.

Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.

No matter how many times we re-live something, it never changes. We can never make the past better than it was. Is there something in your past that has a hold on you? Have you tried to let go? Have you sought help in letting it go? If not, maybe this is the time to seek that help.

It has been said that God never wastes a hurt. I don’t think that means that God brings hurt to us in order to use it for some good. On the other hand, I think it DOES mean that God can take the hurts we experience and bring some good out of them. Have you had hurt or pain in your life that God has brought good out of? Have you shared that with anyone? Is there someone who needs to hear your story in order to help with their healing?

Always remember, when we forgive someone, we are not saying that what they did to us was okay. What we are saying is that we are not going to be controlled by it any longer. It’s interesting….some people are still controlling us long after they are dead, long after they are in the grave. If that is true for you, is it time to let it go? Is it time to stop being controlled by the actions of someone who no longer is with us? If you need some help with this, let us know.

Family Matters- Facing The Tough Issues

Is there a tough issue in your family that you are facing at the present time? Is it new, or something you’ve been dealing with for a while? Have you talked to the other person or people about it? Have you prayed about it? Is there any kind of resolution possible, or is it one of those things that you just aren’t going to be able to change? If you can’t change it, how can you not let it consume you?

King Phyrrus of Epirus defeated the Romans at Heraclea in 280 b.c. and Asculum in 279 b.c. His casualties were so great, though, that he said at the time, “If we are victorious in one more battle with the Romans, we shall be utterly destroyed.” Thus, we have the term Phyrric Victory, where the cost of the victory in terms of casualties is so high, that it is hardly a victory at all. Think about some of the battles you are waging in your family. If you win, will it be a “Phyrric Victory?” Will the “cost” be so great, that the victory will look more like a defeat when it’s all said and done. Pick your battles carefully, and be sure the outcome is worth the price that will be paid.

Serenity Prayer

God…Grant me the serenity to accept the things

I cannot change, the courage to change the things

I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

What are some things going on in your family right now that you are not going to be able to change? Are you still trying to change them? What are some things you CAN change? Are you using your energy to do just that?

Here again is the weekly challenge….

Do you need to talk to a family member about a tough issue? Why not this week? If possible, do it face to face and alone. Prepare in advance. Be fair and respectful. Choose your words carefully and speak clearly and have this conversation just once. Don’t nag. Above all else…Pray, Pray, Pray. Remember the Serenity Prayer.

Family Matters- Seize the 3 C's When You Disagreeze

In the book, The Dance of Anger, author Harriet Lerner offers some valuable questions to ask ourselves when we are feeling angry, questions that might help us stay calm as we deal with that anger. Think of someone, especially someone in your extended family, who you are upset with and ask yourself these questions:

• What am I really angry about? What is triggering the anger?
• What is the problem and whose problem is it?
• How can I sort out who is responsible for what?
• How can I learn to express my anger in a way that will not leave me feeling helpless and powerless?
• When I am angry, how can I clearly communicate my position without becoming defensive or attacking?
• What risks and losses might I face if I become clearer and more assertive?

If you have internet access, go to www.youtube.com and search for the song The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics. Listen to the song, paying special attention to the lyrics. Remember this song when you think you have all the time in the world to reconcile the conflicts you have with someone else, especially someone in your family.

What is the major source of disagreement in your extended family? What can you do to help disarm this source of conflict the next time you meet?

Which is the most challenging for you…to be civil, calm, or clear? Pray daily this week for God’s help with all of these, but especially for the most challenging.

Family Matters - Having Realistic Expectations

Much information for this message series was found in the book, Loving Your Relatives (Even When You Don’t See Eye to Eye by David & Claudia Arp and John & Margaret Bell, including these Re-mix questions.

“To grow up, it is necessary to forgive your parents. When you do not forgive them it means you are clinging to them in the hope that if you can make them feel guilty enough they will finally come through with more parenting.” (P. 35)

Do you agree, disagree, or a little of both, with what is said here? Is there anything for you to forgive your parents for? Have you done that? If not, what are you waiting for? Take some time an pray about it. If your parents are not still alive, do you still think it is possible to forgive them? Dead or alive, try writing a letter to your parents in which you forgive them. If they are alive and you need to share the letter with them, do it. Otherwise, dead or alive, just put it in a drawer. The act of writing the letter often is enough.

On p. 36 the Arps and the Bells say this:

Let us encourage you to never end a family relationship—even if you feel deep hurts from past offenses by family members. Realize over time things change. If you cut off the relationship and refuse reconciliation, the seeds of bitterness will remain and your heart will harden. Yuour anger and frustratin wil not go away just because you refuse to forgive or seek forgiveness.

Give some thought to what is written here. Is there a family member that you need to reconcile with? What would it take to make that happen? Pray, pray, pray about the situation.

On p. 38 we read:

Understand where your expectations come from by processing your history with your own parents and in-laws. Is your relationship with your own parents and in-laws positive or negative? If they have passed away, what was your relationship like before they died? Those relationships have a direct bearing on how you relate to the younger generation. If we were not affirmed and supported growing up, we may slip back into looking to others and affirmation and approval as if we were still children. If we were manipulated emotionally, we may unintentionally do the same to others. You might need to go beyond the examples of the family in your life and choose different role models to follow.

Give some though to what is written here. Does any of it ring true for you? If so, it might help to talk to a close friend about it, to share your feelings, to kind of bring it out and deal with it. And as always, pray.